Ode to Kevin — A Friend Like No Other
There is nothing on this earth to be more prized than true friendship.
Over the years I have had a number of people in my life that I would call a friend, but there are only a few that I would say were close. Of those, only a handful have had a major influence on who I am today, so much so that my family and all those near me now are benefiting. Of these special friendships, no one has had a greater impact on me than Kevin Williams.
Kevin went home to be with the Lord in May of 2019, after a long battle with brain cancer. I’ve thought of him everyday since. I wanted to write something shortly after his passing, but I found it too hard. Maybe this is how it is with everyone who loses such a friend, but as I processed that he was gone, the magnitude of what he meant to me began to come into much clearer focus. My thanksgiving to the Lord for blessing me with such a valuable friendship and my sadness at what was now gone overwhelmed my mind and heart. I did not have words to fully express it, and I’m not sure I fully grasped it for quite some time. How I wish I could have processed all these things beforehand, so I could have fully appreciated the gift the Lord had given me with such a wonderful friend.
As I think of Kevin, I am thankful for…
His Joy
Kevin brought me joy. Most of my memories are of smiling, laughing, or joking around. I have so many happy and laughing memories. Those who really know me know that I can be pretty serious, and I was especially so during my college years. God knew just what I needed in a friend. Kevin loosened me up and really helped me to laugh and be joyful. He was so funny and incredibly fun to be around. He made me a more joyful, happy person. Kevin is still making me laugh today!
What He Saw in People
One of Kevin’s special gifts was to see the unique and special things about each person. I could name anybody that we both knew from school or through ministry, and he could immediately tell me why that person was special, areas he saw where they were gifted and stood out.
A few times he brought up things he saw in me, things I never would have thought to say or consider about myself. I was really humbled and encouraged. He made me feel special because he could see special things. I am sure there are many, many people who have experienced this from Kevin. It was an incredible God-given gift, and it amplified the fact that Kevin loved people, and he didn’t show favoritism, he really loved everybody.
His Talent and Humility
I have not met anyone more talented than Kevin. Not only was he smart, creative, and funny, he was an incredibly gifted musician and worship leader. I would often listen to him play the piano or do something musically, and I’d think to myself, “Man, he is good!”
Even with all that talent, he was one of the most humble people I’ve ever met. He never thought of himself as special, although many others did. He never elevated himself, but he was always praising, encouraging, and lifting up others. He would spend time with the lowliest and often those that others might ignore.
Many in ministry such as we were, would prioritize who they hung out with, or they develop relationships with others based on what they could gain from them. There was no hint of this in Kevin. I’ve been in ministry over thirty years now, Kevin was by far the best example of giftedness, godliness, and humility — all wrapped up into one person — that I’ve witnessed.
His Boldness and Mission Mindedness
Just a few years ago, the Lord put me in a position where I was able to help Kevin get a job at the bank. He knew just about everyone in Columbus, MS, and I knew he would be a tremendous asset at our branch in Columbus. Kevin felt like the Lord had placed him in his position at the bank and he wanted to honor the Lord with it. He had a few things setup (i.e a picture with a verse, a religious figurine, and other such things) in his office to hep ignite conversations that could possibly lead to him being able to share about Jesus with someone.
Kevin took a lot of heat for having these items in his office and for being so bold in his faith. A few of the associates, namely one higher level associate, was quite offended by the religious nature of the items. I was fully supportive of Kevin and one of the reasons I wanted him at the bank was so he could be a godly influence on this team. Sometimes a godly influence is met with angst and persecution, and this is what Kevin received. He set the example in his response, being loving, gracious, and faithful to the Lord.
This whole team was able to watch Kevin walk through the last years of his battle with cancer, and my prayer is that his faithfulness and humble witness will have a long-lasting impact on them and help to draw them to Christ.
Samford Graduation
Kevin, Christian, and Gary
Graduating from College
Kevin and I became roommates in my fourth year and his third year at Samford. Since I had changed my major the year before, I was on the five year track. This would give us two full years as roommates. We were both music majors – Music Theory and Composition to be exact. We became inseparable since we had most all of our classes together, several we had to do independent study so I could graduate in a timely manner. One of our professors nicknamed us the “two bad boys of music”, funny because we were so NOT bad.
I was much more laid back in college, whereas Kevin was on top of all the details. Were it not for Kevin’s meticulous ‘to do’ lists and thorough attention to our schedule and classes (i.e. recitals, convocations, projects, tests, and etc…), I’m not sure I would have done so well in school. Since our graduation I have always credited Kevin with being the main influence that helped me graduate.
Our Senior Composition Recital
One of my favorite memories was our senior composition recital. We each were required to do a thirty minute recital of our own compositions, so we chose to do a joint recital. The recital was April 18, 1996. I remember the date so well because we decided to start advertising for it during the first semester. We made a different goofy poster every week for months leading up to our recital. We had half the music school performing in some way in the recital, and the other half in attendance. It was so fun and a wonderful memory!
Almost every year since, one of us would reach out to the other on April 18, reliving that special memory.
Senior Composition Recital — 1996
Kevin and Gary
His Gracious Support
Few people in the world have known my flaws and quirks like Kevin. Yet he still chose to be my friend, encourage me, believe in me, and support me through some of my most challenging times. The Lord decided to have me wait a number of years before he brought my awesome bride into my life. During the waiting, Kevin was one of my strongest supporters and encouragers.
I went through two very difficult breakups prior to meeting Stephanie, and during those really difficult times after the breakup, I spent a lot, if not most, of my time with Kevin. The first round was during college, so I spent lots of time at his dorm room. The second round, he was married, so lots of time at the house with him and Christian. He always encouraged me and prayed for me, and made sure I knew that I was always welcome, if I just needed company. After all his incredible support, I’m so glad he was able to make a major contribution to our wedding, singing my favorite of all his original songs (a love song he had written for Christian).
Kevin singing at our wedding
Loving You (Christian’s Song):
His Dietary Influence
So much of Kevin’s influence on me had something to do with food! A few of the main ones…
Bacon & Pepperoni Pizza – the first time we ordered pizza together, we ordered dominos. Actually Kevin ordered it, and without asking me, he ordered pepperoni and bacon. When he heard that I had never had pepperoni and bacon, he said, “Gary, I’m about to change your life. Once you’ve had Dominos’ Pepperoni and Bacon, you will never go back.” After a quarter of a century, I can say that truer words were never spoken. I’ve ordered Pepperoni and Bacon ever since and I have recruited many others to the team.
Our Dominos by Samford
It cost us $8 to buy a large, and roommates split the price of everything. Anytime one of us was thinking “pizza”, we’d say to the other, “Got four bucks?” Just so happens, we said that a lot to each other.
We ordered so much from Domino’s that the manager gave us our pizza free the week of final exams. This sparked one of Kevin’s most memorable statements to me, “Gary, you don’t really know people unless you know people at Domino’s!”
Sister Schubert’s Sausage Yeast Rolls (with syrup!) – even typing that makes my mouth water. One morning during our early roomie stage, Kevin woke me up and said once again, “Gary, I’m about to change your life.” He had Sister Schubert Sausage Yeast Rolls heating up in the oven. When they were ready he told me the only way to eat them was with syrup. I questioned him on that piece, but he was adamant. Once again, he was totally right! I have been eating Sister Schubert Sausage Yeast Rolls with syrup ever since. It has become my families Christmas morning tradition to eat this while we unwrap presents.
Cinnamon Rolls – Another morning Kevin woke me up and said that he had breakfast for me. It was pillsbury grand cinnamon rolls. This became a common thing every few weeks, I’d wake up to the smell of cinnamon rolls. This is an addiction I have had a hard time fighting – I love cinnamon rolls and especially Pillsbury Grands, and I trace it all the way back to Kevin.
CiCi’s Pizza – Kevin and I spent many evenings at CiCi’s having dinner. It is one of my really good memories. Of course much of our conversations were more Kevin talking, me nodding and grunting periodically, and occasionally saying a sentence or two, but mostly Kevin talking. I really miss these CiCi’s suppers!
Dr. Pepper – Or as Kevin called it “the nectar of the gods”. The fuel for Kevin must have been Dr. Pepper. So many times we’d be driving somewhere and he’d have to stop by the gas station and pick up a Dr. Pepper. I have two really good Dr. Pepper memories with Kevin. The first was at one of these gas station stops. Kevin came out with his Dr. Pepper and a cassette single for a song I cannot mention. He was insistent that I had to hear this song, “it is hilarious”. I’m laughing as I type this – it was really funny! We laughed the rest of the ride, and to this day I still have the hook of that song in my head.
The second memory is from Bates Brothers Recording. Kevin was recording one of his album projects, he had just filled up a large McDonald’s cup to the brim with Dr Pepper and no ice. Somehow he knocked it over and it spilled down the front of the rack with all the very expensive studio outboard gear. Eric Bates then had to take each piece of gear apart and clean it out hoping to avoid any longterm damage. Fortunately, all the gear kept working. Ever since a few of the buttons on the Red One (if I remember correctly) would stick a little as you press them. Every time I’ve been to the studio since, I’ve had to check the buttons to see how they were doing and to laugh and remember this incident with the Bates Brothers.
IBC Root-beer – Kevin would often pick up a pack of IBC Root-beers for us to drink. It became a staple in our fridge. It was such a part of us that we had IBC Root-beer with ice cream as the “punch” for our senior recital. This showed up again at my wedding beside the groom’s cake.
Random Location - Unknown Year
Gary, Kevin, and Gary Permenter (and an unknown fingerprint)
Our Phone Number 942-SANG
During our time as roommates, we both led worship itinerantly. We were given some latitude to pick our phone number for the apartment, so we chose 942-SANG. Our creative marketing approach was to say, “If you need a worship leader for your event, just dial 942-SANG, and whoever picks up is your guy.”
His Album Recommendations
When DC Talk’s Jesus Freak album came out, Kevin told me emphatically that I had to go buy it “now,” because “it was the best Christian album ever” and I “would love every song.” I bought it and wore it out, and he was right, it became one of the best selling Christian albums ever. From then on, when he would try to rate a new album to me, he would compare it to Jesus Freak.
A few years later, Wes King came out with a new album called A Room Full of Stories. Kevin called me and said that this album was on the same level as Jesus Freak. I was pretty shocked to hear him say that. Unfortunately, I’m still pretty shocked he said that. It was a decent album, but no Jesus Freak, in my humble opinion. This was one of Kevin’s rare misses. But I can’t look at this album without thinking about it.
His Love of Creative Chord Progressions & Artist
Kevin loved creative chord progressions, because of this, he was a big fan of Michael W. Smith. He loved to point out the cool progressions in Smitty’s songs to me. When I’m encountering a song with a quality chord progression, I will often think to myself, “Kevin would really like this.” Even in my song writing today I try to challenge myself in this — I don’t want to disappoint Kevin.
Kevin loved lots of music, especially artist who were really creative. He had a major library of CD’s and he could name every musician and songwriter on each album. When he bought a CD, he would read every word on the CD jacket and remember who did what. I have yet to meet anyone who could compete with Kevin’s knowledge in this realm.
Smoking Cigars
During college, every so often Kevin would light a cigar and smoke it on the back porch of our apartment. This was something he and his high school buddies used to do every now and then. Every time he had one he tried to get me to smoke one too, and every time I responded, “You know I can’t, because I may like it and then I’ll have to have one every night.” To this day, I can’t see anything to do with cigars without thinking about this.
His Family and Friends
I truly love Kevin’s family and claim them as partly my family too — Tim and Glennis, David, Christian, Chael, and Ella – I love all of them and continue to pray for God’s richest blessings for them. What a great blessing they had in Kevin, and what a great void his absence must leave.
There are several folks who I call friends now only because they were friends with Kevin. At the top of the list is Gary Permenter — I mean, where would I be today if I’d never gotten to know Gary Permenter!? I have so many fun memories with Gary and have enjoyed a number of great ministry opportunities with him. To this day, I don’t believe I’ve met anyone more effective at student ministry than Gary — probably because he developed his skills having to deal with Kevin as one of his students. Now Gary has a wonderful itinerant preaching ministry! (“It’s a simple world, and I have a simple mind” – thanks for this contribution to my life, Gary!)
Senior Recital
Kevin taking a bow (with lots of our Samford friends)
Final thoughts:
Kevin was a wonderful, godly man, and he was a dear friend. I really miss him! I still can hardly believe he is gone. There are so many things in normal life that used to make me send a quick text to him for a laugh or fun remembrance. How often these last two years I’ve wanted to do that, but no longer have the privilege.
Although I am sad, I have joy and hope as I look forward to seeing Kevin again. Thanks to Jesus, I know I will. I am thankful that he is getting to experience the fullness of all God has to offer now, unhindered by cancer, sin, and death. I’m jealous, and I can’t wait to share it with him. I’m imagining the great “cloud of witnesses” enjoying pepperoni and bacon, yeast rolls and syrup, and a Dr Pepper as they look on.
My struggle since the Lord took Kevin home is this, why Kevin and not me? Kevin was more talented, more humble, and, in my opinion, a much better example of what to be for the Lord’s sake. Why would God choose to take Kevin and leave me? I don’t understand and I’ve struggled with this thought. In these thoughts I am reminded of Jesus’ words, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24). It is easy to see that Kevin is still bearing much fruit.
Thank you, Kevin, for being the friend I needed, and for showing me the example of what it means to live well for Jesus.
